Thursday, 25 December 2008

Have been encouraged by something someone wrote in another blog to allow the Lord to get to grips with my eating habits. I was a compulsive eater as a child and suffered name-calling and teasing as a result. The Lord healed me from the pain after I came to know Him in 1984, but the battle to lose weight continues, even though I am not as heavy as at the age of 19. I began to think a few years ago that I would be struggling with this for the rest of my life and for the last 5 years, have more or less given up after repetitive diets (since the age of 9) exercise regimes etc.
Anyway, this other person wrote exactly what I have struggled with, and was so honest about it that it encouraged me hugely. All I want is to honour Jesus in this life, and for every area of my life to be under the complete control of the Holy Spirit. I have tried and failed over and over again, disappointed myself and often been under a sense of condemnation for it, finally, over the last few years, rather cynically given it up as a bad job.
Recently though, I have begun to see that I was doing it in my own strength - but I only realised it after I began to see the depths of the GRACE of God and the all-surpassing righteousness of Christ - and the fact that it's Christ in me (and you) the hope of glory. This would have sounded all very nice a while ago, but I wouldn't have really understood what it really meant. At least, I had understood up to a point, because of the good foundation of Biblical teaching I'd had as a new believer, but over the years it had become overlaid with a mixture of performance-based Christianity, religious rule-keeping , legalism and the fear of man, as well as a lot of good things. Everything, basically, which was a natural result of the system of Babylon both in me and my flesh and in the organised churches of which I have been part, both in the UK and here in Germany.
The Lord has been giving me revelation on it though, through some messages by Rob Rufus. As a result I am beginning to see that it's all about His all-surpassing righteousness in me - His obedience, His goodness, is what counts - I'm getting a vision of how big Jesus is and how almighty His grace and righteousness are. NOTHING is impossible for Him. And there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those in Christ Jesus. It's all pure grace. It is GOOD news. Such good news that if God hadn't said it, it would be virtually impossible to believe it. It is now not only possible to live as God wants us to, but actually impossible not to, once we've seen this.
The pressure is off, for the first time in my life. It's all done at the Cross - the free gift of our sin was given to Jesus on the Cross, and the free gift of His perfect, spotless righteousness was given to us so that we may now walk new lives, in, through and because of Him.

This other writer was also talking about fasting. He started a 40 day fast in obedience to the Lord on Dec 10th - and he also wants to get his weight under control. I have tried fasting often, but it always ended up as a way to lose weight. Once I began to, the battle became one of vanity. It was flesh against flesh. Now, however, my focus is different. Not on me and how good or bad I think I look, but on how beautiful Jesus is. I have often felt I wanted to fast, but in the last few years had given it up for the reason given above.
I haven't felt led to do a 40 day fast, though, but a partial fast whereby I only eat one meal a day for two months. Frankly, at my age, (nearly 45) I don't need to eat as much as I did when I was in my twenties, but it has been so hard to re-educate my mind. I am confident, though, that once over, I will be thinking differently because my focus is on Jesus and who He is in me, rather than myself trying to please Him and failing. I know I can do nothing in myself. His power is far greater than my weakness, though and made perfect in it. Glory to God.

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